Burnt Out

Fellow blogging community!

For the past couple weeks, I’ve been feeling a little lackluster with the blog posts feeling like I’m confined to this schedule of posting. I’ve also been feeling like my content is suffering and I’m just writing something for the heck of it. I know that this  is something I completely put on myself but when I decided I needed to make a schedule for more regular posting, I was the one who needed some structure in my life.

Thankfully, I’m in a much better place in my life where I have more of a balance between work and social. I feel like I’m finally comfortable with making baby steps into adulthood whether that’s making regular doctors appointments or buying a new rug for my living room. But it took a long time and a ton of patience to finally feel like I’ve achieved this balance.

I’ve decided that I need to sort of take a step back from blogging on a weekly basis and find the foundation of my voice again. I want to make posts that I’m proud of and excited to write about. I will continue to write about anything food related in my life and of course all of the awkward, weird and cool things that happen in my social life as well. That being said, I do have a few things so share over the next couple weeks, so it’s not a means to an end! I’m just exploring new ways to renew my inspiration and share it passionately with this community. Posts will still appear on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the future!

All of this being said, I think it’s important that us young professionals of the world figure out what that point of exhaustion is and how to avoid it. I spent the first year of my professional life sleeping 4-5 hours a night, working 2 jobs 60+ hours a week, regretting the fact that I didn’t have any time for a social life and only finding solace and control in my ability to go to the gym and write this blog. All of which felt very isolating and quiet.

I kept lying to myself that it was only temporary, that I was paying my dues in the food service industry and making a sacrifice for a better future. And while this is true, everything comes at a cost. I consistently made myself sick and caught colds left and right. I had anxiety about my job every night and would restlessly sleep for the few hours I could catch on a regular basis. I got pink eye from either the gym or the kids I used to babysit which caused me to miss days of work and worry about my paychecks. Not to mention, I got in two very expensive car accidents during the worst winter of my life attributing to my stress thus causing shingles to perpetuate in my body.

I cried by myself, to my roommates and my parents on a daily basis but refused to acknowledge that I had the power to make a change. Through lots of encouragement and persistence, I got a new job and the entirety of my life changed for the better. I cannot stress the importance of caring for and putting yourself first. It isn’t selfish and it isn’t weak. At the end of the day, no matter how much support you have in your life, you’re the only one accountable for you.

You have the power to dictate the way you live your life and seek out what brings you happiness. It’s 100% okay to be lost in that journey. That’s what makes it an adventure. But everything can be adjusted to fit your lifestyle. Thats the beauty of it all.

Happiness is not a limited resource.

 

Advertisements

Post Grad Struggle Bus

Note from Abby: Perhaps Lexy will become a more than once in awhile guest blogger because she’s one of my best friends who also likes to write and I happen to find her extremely hilarious. She’s also sometimes full of sage old woman advice. For all of our fellow post grads out there, this one should hit home!

This May, I will be two full years out of college. Two whole years! That feels like a lifetime to me. When I was accepting awards and handshakes and congratulations from my undergraduate program, I knew that two years out, I’d be settled into my own classroom. Making a difference. Being the One To Watch, as I had been my entire educational career. It seemed like nothing could hold me down. For years, nothing could.

Now, I haven’t lost hope entirely on this dream. It’s just that the sunrays of reality are shedding some much needed light on the path connecting my current vista to where I want to go, up in the clouds. And let me tell you, it is all uphill. I’m no stranger to hard work: I worked three different jobs simultaneously in college, double-majored, and still found time to volunteer. I work two jobs now. I know how to work and still find time to live, even if I feel like I am barely clinging to life. But somehow, I did not ever guestimate that it would be this hard out in the “real” world.

It’s almost like nothing that happened in my life prior to age 23 even mattered. It’s just this unaccounted for time in my development into a post-baccalaureate “real” person. Like, might as well have popped out of the womb wearing a pantsuit or something, because nobody is going to hire me based on anything that happened prior to my college acceptance. It’s not like I founded my own start-up at age 12, or was a computer genius at age 3. According to my mother, it was most miraculous that I started speaking at 18 months, but then I never shut up, so even that’s not super exciting.

I suppose it is exciting that I’m currently employed, and even though my jobs make mediocre use of my talents, I get paid money. That’s cool. I’m sure in 15 years, I’ll look back on my current foolishness and wish I was more grateful. And I am grateful. But I find myself frustrated often at the Universe that my life doesn’t look like My Life did in my head, despite my best efforts all along to be realistic and practical. I fear frequently that the narrative of get-good-grades-go-to-college-get-a-job is horribly inaccurate and only serves to make money for the people who write and promote that narrative, but that is a radical idea that makes me unpopular at dinner parties and in certain political circles.

I know that I am talented. I have this innate talent for teaching and a sincere love of young people, however complex their background or what brings them to me or my classroom. I am patient and gentle and kind, even though when not in the presence of young people, I swear A LOT. I just don’t know yet what type of job will pay me to be these things. Or worse, I will have to work a job that never pays me to be these things, and these qualities will become my “after work hobbies.”

Abby: For the time being, we’ll all have to live in this in-between state of knowing what we’re doing and PRETENDING like we know what we’re doing. Does being an adult get any easier? Do taxes become easier to understand year after year? Every day presents a new challenge and most likely, a new Google search is enterted to figure out how to fix a situation. But at least we’re in it all together, right? All aboard the struggle bus!

Who else is out there feeling the same way? Any suggestions on figuring out your passions and how they can fit within a fulfilling career? On Food for Thought Thursday, I give an update of our winter dessert menu at the Taj Hotel in Boston! You won’t want to  miss it!