Hay is for horses; Hai is for horsegirls

Lexy is one of my absolute best friends from high school and I think our relationship has only gotten closer despite the physical distance between us since college and post grad. She’s also the funniest person I know and ALWAYS knows how to make me laugh about any topic. She’s recently entered the world of OkCupid and has a few anecdotes of her own… Trust me, if there’s one post on my blog you should read, it’s this one! ENJOY!

I have had the distinct privilege of knowing Abby since we were in high school. Though we live farther apart now (I’m still holding it down in PA…sort of), when she calls me on the phone and tells me some of the stories she tells you guys, it’s goes a little something like this on my end:

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What’s cool about our friendship is that when we call each other in a foaming panic about how being an adult is so stressful and scary, we actually manage to re-center ourselves and not give in to the chaos. Everyone needs a person like that, ya’ll. Think Mere Grey and Cristina Yang.

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When I read Abby’s blog, there are so many things I can speak to. I teach high school, and while I love my kids and my job, there are times I want to crawl under my desk. I also work a second job in a big box retail store, and I have way too many stories of atrocities committed by the public against me/ other retail workers (Abby, invite me back so I can tell them about all the shit I’ve seen. WITNESS ME.)

Aside from work, I’m looking for a gal who’s down to pal. Abby got me on OkCupid, and we joke often about the weirdo messages we get. Women can be just as bizzare when behind the mask of the Internet. Most recently, I got a message from a girl that asked no less than forty questions in the same initial introduction message (After opening with, “hai, I like ur hair”). Among them, she asked how I felt about girls who played video games and did I like horses? That’s when I knew.

Allow me to introduce you, Abby’s blog readers, to the phenomenon known as “horse girls.” Horse girls are the even crazier sister of the crazy cat lady. They may own, work with, show, jump, or at their most excessive, just be an obsessive fan of horses without any actual contact with them in real life. How did I canter down such a twisted path? I’ll admit, I dated a horse girl in college once (or should it be spelled “horsegirl?” There’s no telling where the horse stops and the girl begins…)

The sister of the girl I was dating worked with horses. My then girlfriend referred to these two horses as her “horse nephews.” She bought them hats, and had several framed pictures of them in her room. Guys, I would have bailed on that haystack right there, except…she was hot. How are the hot ones always crazy? Nature is a cruel mistress.

After a year of knowing each other and six months of dating in a stable relationship, I was just about ready to make plans to move in with horsegirl when she abruptly dipset. She trotted off into the distance, and I never heard from her again. So before you think I’m stuck on my high horse, she was the one that galloped away into the sunset, leaving me in the dust.

Thanks, Abby, for inviting me to guest write on Young Adultlescence. If you want to read more from me now and again about dating disasters, retail lyfe, identity & adultlescence, let Abby know in the comments! It’d be mo’ better.


The author of this article adventuring in the wilds of Colorado.

Lexy is a teacher, retail store supervisor, sometime-writer, and full-time pizza/craft beer enthusiast. She lives in Pennsylvania with her Honda Civic, Hazel Grace.