I have found that my life so far is a slew of awkward situations and stories carefully held together by scotch tape and homemade gorilla glue. It’s messy but interesting, never dull and consistently leaves me peeling dried glue off my hands at the end of the day. That being said, I have some news.
For some unknown reason the big man upstairs/the flying spaghetti monster has taken pity on my life and allowed A BOY TO LIKE ME. And it just so happens that I caught a few feelings in return. Here we are, two people pretending to be adults in mutual like with one another yet pretending to the outside world that we’re nothing more than friends.
Why, might you ask? This is where things get a bit complicated…. Up until recently, we were co-workers spending 3+ nights a week together tending to every whim and fancy of the upper class. In the midst of slaving away, I started to realize we had a lot of common interests/morals/passions/weird childhood obsessions and things started to click. Did I like him? No no, we’re coworkers. Did I catch a case of the feels? Hell to the no, the thought never crossed my mind. Was I interested in trying to make a move? Maybe when Donald Trump wins the presidential election (I’m still crossing my fingers for a fat chance in hell).
You can ask any of my friends- I’m super stubborn and refuse to face my emotions. I would panic when my best friend would try to talk to me and completely shut down. I finally woman-ed up, told myself to be brave and there is no shame in making yourself vulnerable in an effort for companionship. Well, at least that’s what I preached after 3 shots and a cocktail. Oops?
What started as innocent sessions “let’s watch Sherlock together and hang out after work” aka Netflix and chill, I realized that I was ignoring my own feelings. I was interested and wanted to make a move without jeopardizing the separation of work and personal. After a couple weeks of hanging out and sitting closer and closer on the couch until we were only a few inches apart, I finally made a move and the rest has been history.
In an effort to keep our work and personal lives separate, we were pretending like we weren’t dating one another at work. I didn’t want to be a part of the rumor mill or a source of gossip; plus I wanted my role to remain serious and professional. While this hasn’t been a problem at work, I have run into a few occasions that could’ve blown my cover- BIG TIME.
Only a week or two after we started dating, I wanted to go on a date and do something active. Maybe go to a bar and spend some quality time together. We planned on going one night after work to grab a drink. We were taking a T together when immediately across from us are the roommates of my co-worker ONE OF WHOM happens to be the infamous CHRIS from my Tinder Meets Real Life post!! EEK. My cover was totally blown!! I immediately started sweating, couldn’t figure out what to do with my hands and was panicking on the inside. We had to say hi and make awkward small talk like nothing was wrong… OH MY GLOB IT WAS SO AWKWARD.
We got off the train and I immediately had to figure out how to cover this up the next day at work. I couldn’t pretend like we hadn’t been hanging out in case my co-worker found out from her roommate… but I had also lied and said I was hanging out with “some friends” after work. *insert inner monologue: OKAY I GOT IT! My friends cancelled on me, but I still wanted to go out. So I asked Nick if he wanted to grab a drink when we casually bumped into Chris and the other roommate on the T. That’ll work, Abby! Reeeeaaaaal casual.*
Somehow I got away with it. It seemed normal enough that Nick and I would hang out after work, as we had done it before. PHEW! Crisis averted. In another instance, Nick was going to meet me after work so we could go to a café around the corner. Turns out it was our friend’s birthday and they were going out for drinks. I lied and said I made plans already but would try to rearrange them. Buuuuut since I already solidified plans with Nick, I didn’t want to be rude and cancel. Minutes after I left work and said goodbye, I met Nick a few blocks away. We kissed hello and headed into the café WHEN ONE OF MY COWORKERS WALKED OUT OF THE FRONT DOOR. OH MY GOD. How could I possibly cover this up!?
All three of us awkwardly said hello and quickly ran by each other… I literally just lied to her minutes ago saying I was meeting up with “a friend” but now I totally looked suspicious!! After shooting her a text, she promised to keep it to herself for the time being which made me feel immensely better. So much sneaking about and lying!! I can’t live like this!
Another couple months have gone by, and I’ve been dying to tell my co-workers! I’m terrible at lying when they ask how my weekend was, or if they’re curious what shift Nick is working and I happen to know. I’ve also been dying to write about all of these shenanigans but was too nervous they’d find out! After some time searching, Nick found a new job and we came clean. I don’t think I’m made for secret “office” romances!
I’m sad to say that I won’t have any OKCupid updates or stupid Tinder stories to share for awhile (hopefully anyway!) but I’m sure I’ll have fun, new stories to share as I’m understanding what it’s like to be in a relationship again after years of singledom.
On Thursday, I have a new foodie blog post to share! Stay tuned!