OkCupid Nightmares

I feel like I’m slowly starting to lose faith in the male species and their ability to talk to women. I really don’t know how some phrases became the norm or when girls really started accepting their behavior… but here we are! I’m almost convinced at this point that I just keep my OkC accounts for pure humor because I’ve hardly gotten any message that I find remotely interesting…Well. Maybe I can’t say that exactly. The messages I get are definitely INTERESTING, as in maybe they need psychiatric evaluation interesting. But certainly not the genuine kind of interesting that I find attractive.

Lets get to it! Here are my newest slew of messages to share!

From BananaHead777:

What’s your opinion on fetishes?

My opinion is no thank you!! Also, how did you come up with your username….

From HotPotatoh:

dammit Abby there are two people in every picture of you, is that a conscious thing or do girls like to be confusing for the fun of it 🙂

First of all, not true. I have three individual photos on my page. Also, if you can’t figure out who I am from all the pictures I have posted by seeing who shows up over and over again, then it’s already over. Dumb.

From LivingIntheWild:

Hello 🙂 How’s your day going? So I know this is random, but would you mind if I asked for your advice/opinion on something dating related? I’ve asked my friends but people tend to be very polarized and biased so I thought asking a stranger here would be a bit more useful. P.S. you’re very intriguing and pretty btw!

I already got a message from a guy named andrewp014 asking this exact same thing and using the same pictures… so the first time, I responded saying yes I would answer a question. He then asked to call me on the phone and ask to which I declined but then he asked via the internet anyway… He asked me about his penis and my thoughts on circumcision! WHAT STOP GO AWAY!

So I ended up responding to him, cause I had ENOUGH of this shit and said,

“Are you going to ask me about your penis again andrewp014 ? Because you’ve already asked me before and it’s weird. Cut that shit out”

To which he replied, “huh?”


From JohnJAmate:

Tetris isn’t nerdy it’s the epitome of Soviet Russia


From RockBass1977:

Hello there Abby. I liked your pictures and your profile. I’m an easy going guy who likes too laugh and enjoys having fun.
Music is my passion. I’ve been playing bass guitar now 28 years and it’s the best life. During the day I work as an medical assistant which I find very rewarding. If you want to know more, please message me. Thank you.


How many fucking usernames are you going to send me the same message under!? This is at least the third time I’ve gotten a message from Rick. LordBass1977, RockBass1977, SirRockBass1977… STOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

From LoveIsInTheAir44:

Omg you’re freaking beyond beautiful 😍😍 and I love your eyes!!! But what are you up to? And by the way I’m Ed. Do you have Instagram or snap chat at all?

Of course I have Instagram and snapchat… but I’m not going to send you nudies, you freak. I know why you were asking!!!! I’m onto you!

From samsungwolf:

hi amby

..I didn’t know my name was Amby?

From sherkhan333:

Hi how are you doing Madam? You sound interesting 🙂 what’s your name?

I’m a Madam? Really??

From bibz646:

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 Hi Hi

Which is the most shocking city in the world?? 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

Oh boy, I don’t even know where to begin… First of all, the profile says he’s from India. Why do people in other states/countries think I want to chat with them?! I don’t want to date anyone who isn’t within 15 minutes from me let alone thousands of miles away! Also, I don’t even know how to interpret that question… What does ‘shocking’ mean in this context???

But also, you guys have to see this guys profile pictures lololololol






From chukM:

Trying out this online dating, trying to find a nice white girlfriend. Since I moved to the states I noticed there’s a high rate of racism, unlike the UK where its almost gone. I prefer light skinned ladies and I love cultured people. I was raised in a cultured environment where women are cherished and everyone treats each other with respect. I love cooking and I’d love to have a girlfriend I could shower with love, give her breakfast in bed and treat her like a princess. I think you are beautiful and you seem well cultured. Two things I also admire in ladies are ambitiousness and adventurousness. I’d be excited to see if you got them all. I’m chuck by name and I’d love to hear from you. Do you mind we getting to know other?

Whoa whoa whoa, I’m white!?! SINCE WHEN! I never noticed that about myself. Second: WOW. I feel so enlightened to know that the UK eradicated racism. If only the US could learn from them…

And personally, I don’t want to be treated as a princess. I want to be treated as an EQUAL. Does sexism not exist in the UK anymore either??

A nice white girlfriend my ass…

Matt from Buzzfeed has an absolutely HILARIOUS web series called Whine About It where he drinks wine at his desk and complains about stuff. Thought I’d share his SPOT ON video about online messages!

Anyway! I hope you guys got a couple laughs! On Food for Thought Thursday, I interviewed my roommate, Allie, who works as a manager at Shake Shack! Check out what her job experience is like! See you guys soon!


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