So this is going to be a bit more of a serious/controversial post because the word ‘feminism’ often comes with a lot of negative connotations. I’m a firm believer that feminism needs to exist with the help of EVERYONE, not just females. Feminism began as a group of women fighting for equal rights but then were stereotyped for being “too strongly opinionated” and “too outspoken”. But here’s what I don’t get- if those women can’t stand up for their rights without being chastised, isn’t their stance MORE important? The point is being proven for them; inequality is present and evident.
All I know is that I work VERY hard for everything I have in life. I work two jobs to make ends meet financially. I strive to better myself every day by taking on new challenges. I believe that I can do anything I set my mind to. However, if I have someone who tells me that I am incapable of something due to my gender, I get all kinds of fired up. I’m the only one who can decide what I am and am not capable of. Since when do tasks get assigned genders? I would never publicly shame anyone, of any gender, with something that they cannot do. NO.
Under the blanket statement of feminism is the issue of consent. Anyone on the receiving end of a statement/action with sexual nature should be willing and accepting of those actions. This requires active communication from both partners whether that means reading body language or verbally asserting feelings. Consent couldn’t have been said better than from an article written by Dinosaur Rockstar Pirate Princess where she compares having sex with consent as offering someone a cup of tea. Click on the link above to read the whole article!
You say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they go “omg fuck yes, I would fucking LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!*” then you know they want a cup of tea.
If you say “hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they um and ahh and say, “I’m not really sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea or not, but be aware that they might not drink it, and if they don’t drink it then – this is the important bit – don’t make them drink it.
[…] If they are unconscious, don’t make them tea. Unconscious people don’t want tea and can’t answer the question “do you want tea” because they are unconscious.
A couple weeks ago, I was at a bar dancing with some of my friends when this guy tried to dance with me. After a few minutes, I no longer wanted to dance with him so I said “no thank you” and walked away. Later, he circled back around to dance with me again. Immediately I said “No, thank you!” and turned away. He instead didn’t like what I had said and tried once more. At this point, my roommate pushed him away from me and said “SHE SAID NO!”. I don’t care if he was drunk or not. I said no MULTIPLE TIMES. This is literally not the first time this has happened to me or my friends, but thank god we’re all there to look after each other.
I’ve also been finding online dating really discouraging and disgusting lately too. If anyone ever messages me and says “hey beautiful” “you’re really cute” “DTF?”, I NEVER answer. BYE FELICIA. Shit like this literally makes me feel bad about myself. Beauty comes from within and if that’s the only thing someone has to say to me instead of asking what I do for work or what I’m passionate about, we have nothing in common. I’m so much more than what’s on the outside and my self-esteem nose dives when I’m approached with anything less than respect.
However, I think there’s a difference between being pushy and being flirty. I’m definitely not saying I don’t want to flirt/have someone flirt with me every once in awhile, but I think there’s a right and wrong way to go about it. Compliment someone on what you admire. Do you love that they are passionate about helping the environment? Tell them that. Do you think it’s attractive that they care about their relationships with their friends and family? Make a comment about it! Attraction definitely plays a role in a romantic relationship, don’t get me wrong, but I believe that there’s more to attraction than just looks. Unfortunately, physical beauty is what is preyed on the most especially in the case of catcalling.
It’s probably one of the scariest things we, as women, have to deal with on a daily basis. I’m sorry, did I just give you permission to whistle at me walking down the street at 3am when I’m walking to work (true story)? How do I know that I’m going to remain SAFE and not have someone follow me when I don’t return their advances or acknowledge their presence? I never gave someone permission to violate me and I never will. Catcalling is NOT okay. It violates ALL aspects of consent. This video of Adult Wednesday Addams is the most perfect, and hilarious, video describing what it feels like to be catcalled.
Emma Watson, the former Hermione Granger, is an exceptional activist for issues like this one. She’s an advocate for something called the He for She campaign which calls out to men for support for feminism. Think about it guys- do you want someone assaulting your Mom, sister, cousins, girlfriends, etc? SO WHY DO IT TO OTHER PEOPLE. In order to make big change with big results, we need support from all sides. Check out her speech below!
This is an issue that I feel the most strongly about. I am a feminist. I will continue to live my life with respect for others and their choices and it’s my hope that the future will move towards equality through advocacy and education.
It’s your choice- what do you stand for?