I’m a Dominatrix, apparently.

Yep, you read that correctly. I mean, I definitely like to see myself as a strong, independent, I-don’t-need-a-man-to-be-fulfilled kind of woman, but I don’t think I could go so far as to be a Dom (or whatever the terminology is… thanks 50 Shades of Gray). However, that’s not what someone on OkCupid thought! Here’s the most interesting message I’ve ever gotten from a user named….

YEARNtoSERVE

Hi, you seem like an interesting person and someone I hope might appreciate the message below and the type of relationship I am trying to offer…I hope you won’t find the tenor of my message inappropriate and please disregard it if it makes you uncomfortable. I am writing seeking something unusual and out of the ordinary, but i think if you thought about it and considered it, you might find it interesting, enjoyable and beneficial. I am seeking a casual relationship based on a woman who might like a man to serve her like a servant might and who seeks to worship her in a casual manner as the woman sees fit and defines.

I’m just going to insert some footnotes here along the way because WOWWOWOWOWOW do I have a lot of thoughts about this message. You can’t tell me to not be uncomfortable by saying this might be an uncomfortable message with inappropriate tenor. I mean, I know I’m a Queen (duh), but I don’t think I can dig the whole worship in a casual manner thing…

In essence, I am a submissive guy looking to serve the needs of you and in our time together provide for your pleasure and meet your needs in a casual platonic relationship at first that you would define the parameters of in terms of where you saw a need or use for me to meet your needs. A little about myself, I am an otherwise normal 30smth single, unmarried, well dressed investment professional who is interested in the opportunity to serve you.

30smth… what’s smth.. single, male, tall, handsome? Short, muscular, tenacious, helpful? Sassy, merry, talkative, happy? WHAT DOES IT MEAN.

I am submissive, so a lot of it would be about meeting your needs and requirements because as a submissive, i desire to put the woman’s needs first and I gain enjoyment out of serving her needs and submitting to her wants. Furthermore, I would like to shower with occasional gifts and treat like a princess the woman I am serving. I like gifts… hmm maybe…  Looking for something casual that you could define how much time you wanted to spend what types of service. I think we would both be great match as serving you would feed my need to be bossed around by beautiful woman like yourself. It is not a leather, dominatrix, whips or bondage type domination just more so you are in charge/dominant and I serve your pleasure and needs and wants. Do tasks or menial jobs/errands you need done. Like laundry/handwash delicates, dishes, pick up room/apt, foot rubs, brush hair etc. They could clean my apartment! Make me dinner. Clean the bathroom. Maybe I’m looking at this all wrong! Although, don’t touch me. I hate feet. Ick You can design it within reason how you like and at the end of the day think of it as just having a servant/errand boy to call on. No strings, no drama, nothing. If you have female roommates who might be comfortable with this, i would be open to serving you all as well. Also, I understand in approving of me as a potential servant, you may prefer to involve a friend or friends and that is ok as long as they are female friends as I am not comfortable being submissive with or around males. Thanks for your understanding.

Told my roommates about this too and they weren’t totally opposed to the idea as long as only cleaning was involved. So therefore my roommates are on board. GREAT!

Imagine coming home after long tiring day and asking me to come by and provide foot rubs or brush your hair, clean the kitchen up and then send me off with laundry or delicates to wash and return dry and folded in few days. Or after long exhausting gym workout to have me there giving you massage. Or on a weekend having me come by to do your nails and paint them as well and sort laundry and organize your room etc.

Okay okay, maybe I considered the benefits for half a second, but now I’m creeped out. I don’t wanna come home after the gym all sweaty and gross and get a rub down. EW. And I can’t paint my nails because of my job and I CERTAINLY don’t want anyone touching my feet. No no no no

I know this is a tad different and unusual, but hopefully you can consider me. I hope you can consider my offer or at least give me chance to answer any questions or concerns you may have. I am happy to answer any questions here on message or if you prefer via text/email if you are interested. I will share pictures if you have any interest, but given the vulnerable nature of my message, feel uncomfortable sharing them now.

Thanks for reading and considering me.

Best,
Paul  

Oh poor poor Paul… While I’m supportive of anyone’s interests, like you do you Paul, I just could never be a part of that! I can’t imagine just bossing someone around and being okay with that. That’s so uncomfortable! Investment life is probably too boring which is why he needs to have a little spice of life outside of work. I wish you the best of luck finding someone to meet your 30SMTH needs. Anyone think I should’ve taken him up on his offer? WHY IS MY LIFE SO WEIRD. Thoughts, questions, concerns of the general public? Let me know!

Check back on Food For Thought Thursday to read a post about my amazing friend Michelle and her business Cake Monstah!

Deuces, friends!

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