Kids Say the Darndest Things

Little kids are naturally curious creatures. They have so much to learn and being a babysitter, I’m a wealth of knowledge to them. That being said, I have been asked thousands of questions at this point some ranging from practical to absolutely hilariously absurd. And of course, I’d love to share some of the funny things that they’ve said to me, with you!

“Hey Abby, can you look at my butt? I feel like something is stuck in there”

(Upon asking what’s the next holiday they celebrate….) “Well, I’m a Jew but we celebrate Christmas”

“I invented a machine that’s going to suck all the kids through a tube and take them outside so we don’t have to be in school anymore”

“Pete and Repeat were on a fence. Pete fell off… who was left? (pause from me pretending like I didn’t get it) Ugh okay Abby, I’ll tell it again. Pete and Repeat were on a fence. Pete fell off… who was left?”

Margaux: Abby, have you had boyfriends before?
Me: Yeah, I’ve dated a couple people…
Margaux: What happened to them?
Me: Nothing really, the relationships just didn’t really work out.
Margaux: Well… why not?
*** I then had to go on and explain that the first person you date may not be the person you end up with or marry and that there is a difference between liking someone as a person and LIKING someone. YIKES HELP

“No no, you shower all wrong. Its body soap, shampoo and THEN conditioner”

Margaux: “Abby, are you married? Do you have any kids?”
Me: “….no”
Margaux: “Are you gonna buy a house?”Me: “Uhhh, not any time soon. Houses are a lot of money!”
Margaux: “How much, like 100 dollars?”

*Max sticks his hands under my scarf basically on my boobs…
Max: “What’s that?”
Me: (removes his hands first and then replies) “Uhh, boobs?”
Max: “Coooooooooooooooooooooool”
Margaux: “Why’d you call them boobs?”
Me: “I don’t know, what do you call them?”
Margaux: ” *giggles* Breasts?”

OH GOD WAS THAT A REAL MOMENT

209

(…the moment from above continues even farther)
Me: “You know, both boys and girls change as they get older. Boys like max grow more hair than girls and their voice changes too”
Margaux: “I didn’t know that!”

These kids are so crazy. Of course, these are only a few moments that have happened over the past 5 months and I’m sure there’s plenty more where that came from! Keep your eyes peeled for another Food For Thought post on Thursday!

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