I have yet another installment of terrible online dating messages! YES THE MOMENT WE’VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! I’ve been saving them for awhile so I can share a collection of really cringe-worthy messages. And to add fuel to the fire, I’ve also joined Tinder thanks to the persuasion of my lovely roommates! Here we go….
” I think you’re really cute :] will you snapchat me?”
No, no I won’t. Even though you’ve changed your profile name to something even creepier than Redneckbaby1992, I still recognize you from the 3,000 other messages you’ve sent me in the past. PLEASE REFRAIN FROM MESSAGING ME AGAIN
“Aaaa, Millah! GET IT, LIKE “A” AS IN EYY?! HEH Anyways, are you super buried by finals, too?”
Yikes. Just… yikes.
” Hey what’s up 🙂 do you know where sheep get their hair done? “
The bahhhh-ber shop. Original.
And last but not least, my favorite from OkCupid…
From SumitBarua (Who I’m pretty sure I’ve gotten a message from before…):
12/19 : yes. you can read my profile and I am not interested in one night but I am looking for someone who can be with me forever.
12/20: I know you visited my profile. What things interest you the most.
12/20: Good evening Abby how are you today
TO WHICH I THEN REPLY AND I QUOTE: “go away”
12/20: is there any problem
12/20: why are you telling me to go away
Which I then proceeded to block him. Enough’s enough Sumit.
Lastly, I need to share my absolute favorite match from Tinder. The love of my life. One true love. I don’t need to look anywhere else. The message that soon after ensues says: ” You look a meat lovers kind of girl. Extra sausage?”
HAHAHAHAHAHHAA OH MY GOD WHAT IS THIS. I know pizza is my one true love but I can’t handle this. Its too much!
So sadly, no luck in the romance department at the moment but don’t you worry internet, you’ll be the first to know if I make any strides. Baby steps people, baby steps.
Until next time!