#NannyLife

I used this hashtag a few times on Twitter and all of a sudden I had various nanny dedicated twitter pages following and liking my tweets. HALP WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO?!

I totally had no idea what “nannying” would entail. I always had fun babysitting my cousins- playing games, pretending to be pirates, watching movies and playing on the playground. But I used to only do it for 2-3 hours at a time maybe once a week. Aaaaaand now, I have to be careful to follow tons of rules and regulations for this family and how they raise their kids.

I’m 22, obviously have no kids or real childcare experience so I really have no right to open my mouth and state my own opinions when it comes to child rearing. I just figured I now have enough material to share a couple ridiculous things that I have noticed or things that have happened to me since I started 3 months ago:

1. Dinner: Meat and veggies mandatory. Starches optional. So forget spaghetti and meatballs. Or stir fry. Or potatoes and corn since those are “starchy vegetables”. Not that Max and Margaux would eat them since they don’t like chicken, roast beef, mac and cheese, chicken tenders, and pizza. WHAT KIND OF KIDS ARE THEY?

2. When asked the question, “Will you look at my butt and see if something is stuck in it?”, that is a completely serious question. Often times it’s followed by pulling down their pants and spreading their cheeks no matter whether I politely decline. Which I ALWAYS do.

3. “Our dentist said that the kids shouldn’t brush their own teeth until they’re 7.” Hence why I brush Max’s teeth every night…

4. In the dishwasher, the spoons have to be flipped upwards. Large pots and pans are also thoroughly inspected for any leftover grease or fingerprints if they were hand washed.

5. I also get constantly climbed all over like I’m a jungle gym.

6. And get groped. Often. Butt, boobs, lifting up my shirt, looking down my shirt and yelling “booooobies!” are all things that happen on a regular basis.

7. Being farted on and receiving no apology.

8. Having to arrange play dates and now having parents phone numbers in my phone so I can set stuff up.

9. Being asked if I’m dating anyone, married or going to have kids anytime soon. And when I say no, they ask why many many many times. I DONT KNOW YOU LITTLE BUTTHEADS, MAYBE BECAUSE IM BARELY AN ADULT

10. Have car seats permanently installed in my car. Thank god I don’t have a van. Although I could use the room since Max rubs his dirty little shoes all over the back of my seat when he gets in my car….

11. Having the family be so filthy rich that they can hire me, professional cleaners for their house once a week, get Peapod deliveries for groceries, have leaf removal services, and then order hundreds of things from Amazon. Did I mention that their house has a servants staircase that leads from the kitchen to the second floor? I’m Cinderella, for real.

12. Being included on their class list emails and then getting an email saying that cases of LICE have been found at their school. WHAT!?!?!? GET ME OUT OF HERE.

So basically that’s just a crazy glimpse into my every day second job life. Not to mention that I do their laundry, make dinner for the kids and dad every week night, pack school lunches, do homework with Margaux, take them to and host play dates, clean their rooms and play rooms, and get them through the shower every night. All in 15ish hours a week. WOOF. I’m tired just thinking about all that I do!

Do you have a second job? Or a job that’s just totally crazy and you wonder every day why you do it?

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