What the fuck is a Five Year Plan?

What they don’t tell you in college is that post grad isn’t always exactly what it seems. Landing the “perfect” job is near impossible, and so is affording your rent or eating anything other than ramen or cereal. I mean, that’s also what can be so great about post grad: shamelessly eating mass amounts of cereal that your mom never let you buy as a kid (my current indulgence is good ol’ Reeses Puffs) and finding really inventive ways to make your craphole of an apartment your home.

Recently, I’ve been trying to do some career soul searching to figure out what my goal in the long run is. While I really love the environment I work in now, I’m not sure that my long term goal is to be a “pastry chef”. You work even crazier hours and depending on where you work, are probably not managing the best employees while dealing with crazy customer demands and higher management. I definitely hope that a role like this will be a piece of my journey but probably not my end game. I’ve been toying with the idea for quite some time now that I would eventually like to teach baking since I loved my learning process in college and it could be super rewarding.

Basically upon dedicating myself to this within the last two weeks, my head has been SPINNING. I can honestly say that I’ve been extremely lucky to have such amazing teachers and old bosses serving as my mentors on how to have a successful and happy life (Talking about you guys: Meagan, Ian, Rick, Lagalle just to name a few!). But after speaking with some of them, what hit me most was, “What is your five or ten year plan?”

UH. WUT. I forgot I was even supposed to have one of those! My goal for the last 22 years has been to educate myself, work hard and enter into a business to make money and be successful. Now that I’m just scratching the surface, I have to come up with a new goal?? Jesu Christo, I’m not a miracle worker. I barely eat three meals a day and literally every pair of socks I own have holes in them cause I’m too poor to buy new ones. How can I come up with a 5 year goal when I don’t even know what I need to do tomorrow besides fending for myself in broad daylight?

At this point, I think it’s safe to say that my 5 year goal doesn’t include babysitting two terrors that accidentally headbutt me and leave a lumps on my forehead (true story); nor is it to wake up every day at 3am only to fall asleep at 830 every night. I can also hope that I can get the two car seats that are currently installed in my backseat out eventually so I can avoid situations like this one:

*Naive unsuspecting Abby is waiting in her car for her friend Cecelia to grab her wine before heading to a party. The passenger door opens and behold: 3 drunk guys. Conversation ensues…

Drunkard: Hey, if we pay you, can we get a ride up the street?
Abby: Uhhhhh, well I’m just waiting for my friend and I really don’t have much room in the backseat sooooo….
Drunkard: *looks to backseat* …..Do you have two kids?
Abby: ……………………………………………………………….noooooo. I just babysit.
Drunkard: Oh, well that’s more enticing then. We’ll sit in the car seats and we can pay you

IS THIS REAL LIFE PEOPLE.

Do you have a 5 year plan? How are you getting through post-grad life? And to all of you still in college: BUCKLE UP AND BOOZE WHILE YOU STILL CAN

I’m gonna go eat pizza right now like a responsible, healthy adult. BYEEEEEE

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