Drunken Shenanigans

So I’m gonna do my best not to sound like a drunk iditio but I”m a drunk idiot. SO.

I started to get tipsy off of 1 1/2 drinks. COOL. Then we went out and got onion rings. I can’t tell you guys how much I love onion rings. YUMMMMMMMMMMMMM. Went out to another bar after and there were no cute boys. Can someone deliver some cute boys to me STAT please?

I started babysitting yesterday too which went okay. The kiddos are pretty nice and have some funny things to say. I can’t remember right now some of the things they’ve said to me. Don’t hate me for it, okay? Also, I’m making wayyyy too many typos to  do this right now but thankfully I’m noticing most of them despite being a teensy bit tipsy and recorrecting myself since I don’t want to embarass myself TOO MUCH.

There was a cute boy at the bar who was talking to us but Allie said he was too old. I don’t remember how old exactly he was. Not that we talked about it but more or less what I speculated. WHATEVER, I NEED A SOCIAL LIFE PLS. Who gets tipsy on a Wednesday? Just me and the boozers I guess. God, I’m so fun. Actually, I wish I was more fun so I’d have more friends. WAHOO ADULTHOOD WITH WEIRDO BAKERY HOURS THAT DONT ALLOW ME TO HAVE A NORMAL LIFE.

Mid-life crisis people. I can feel it starting to set in anyway; Although I’m going to call it a quarter life crisis since I hope to live a veru very VERY long time.

OK homies, my eyes are waaaay too tired for these shenanigans so I’m oUUUuuUuuuuuT. BYEE

(NOTE TO FRIENDS AND READERS: Hey, sober Abby here. The above is a completely unedited version of whatever I wrote last night. I have quickly morphed into a complete lightweight in my post-grad life. But I at least give myself some credit for trying to edit this post along the way and I also used a semi-colon at one point so GO ME. The infrequency at which I drink now is ridiculous (I’ve had the same bottle of booze for almost 2 1/2 months now and still have a third of it left) so I apologize to anyone whom I happened to text last night (#shoutout to Jess, Greg Mason, Jimmy and Max for fielding all of those messages…OOPS). I hope everyone enjoys this and it’ll be awhile before I choose to embarrass myself like this again. AGAIN TO ALL OF THE REAL ADULTS, I’M SORRY.)


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