Amish Paradise

Hi friends, reporting from good ol’ PA.

I finally took my vacation from work and made the trek back to PA for a couple days to visit my family and re-ground myself in my Amish roots. Rumor has it that I once lived a life amongst the Amish and made a break for it during college. All thanks to the knowledge that I didn’t get a smart phone until last year and also grew up without cable or A/C. THE TRAVESTY.

But being back here now, I realize how much I actually miss this environment. Everything is GREEN and there’s just so much grass and nature! All of the roads are familiar and everyone drives the speed limit or under which is a huuuge difference than those Massholes out in Boston (…no offense if you’re from Boston…). However, within my first day of being here, I’ve accumulated 6 bug bites. I FORGOT HOW ANNOYING THEY WERE. The struggle is so real, people.

So my first day back, my family hosted an “Abby Day Picnic”. “It’s not Labor Day, its not Memorial Day, it’s Abby day” my parents would say. It was great to reconnect with my family and really catch up with them. I’m almost positive my cousins skipped a few years of their life and jumped from the ages of 6 and 4 that I remember them from, to being 11 and 9. We had some pretty interesting conversations with the youngin’s, let me tell ya. Alex, who is going into third grade was grilling my sister and her long-term boyfriend. Here’s how the conversation went:

Alex: Are you two married?
Steph: No, we’re just dating.
A: Are you going to get married?
S: Maybe one day
A: (to Steph’s boyfriend) You should propose to her in Disney World!

The most magical place on earth. Good idea kiddo. He was also giving me sound financial advice when he told me, “You know, if your house burns down and your credit card is in there, you can just get a new one!” He’s a wizard with words. Another one of my cousins who is in high school is showing me pictures of her guy friends on her phone. THESE GUYS ARE SUPER BUFF, no way they’re 16. They’re half naked and total jailbait, BYEEEEE.

Yesterday, I ran around doing townie shenanigans with one of my good friends from high school and watched the Emmy’s together. Now today, my grandma and other distant relatives were in town and wanted to take me to lunch at Red Lobster. So I obviously thought of those delish cheddar biscuits and happily obliged. These women are preeeeetty opinionated and didn’t grasp the concept of personal space. I think I listened to a 20 minute story about why they hate Southwest Airlines and how I should never use them to travel. I also learned that some distant cousin twice removed blah de blah is having her BRITISH BOYFRIEND visit her here. Uhm, excuse me, where’s my british boyfriend?

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Tomorrow I’m driving back to Boston and then back at it at work for the next couple of months.  I’ll also be starting a nannying job for a family on Sept. 2nd, so my life will be full of stories where kids ask me awkward questions. LIVING THE DREAM. Adios muchachos, until next time.

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